Consider the Bible verses Psalm 29:15 says ‘ ..a child left to himself brings his mother to shame’, and,

Ephesians 6:4 encourages parents to ‘ bring your children up in the training and admonishon of the Lord’.

Children are precious in the eyes of the Lord and He has a unique plan and purpose for each one, knowing even how many hairs are on their head. As parents we can teach our children many life skills but it takes wisdom from God to train them toward the person they were created to be.  The following are a few things that we have found as we have sought God in our parenting…

Obedience is not a dirty word

In today’s society obedience has become an increasingly unpopular word, but we found that obedience establishes trust in relationship. Training your children to obey without having to reason everything out, calls them to trust that we have the best in mind for them.  In this they learn that we care for them.

Every child is unique

When it comes to training, each child is different, some will be naturally self-motivated and focused, while others will need more time and encouragement to help them establish routines and self-discipline in their life.  It is important as parents that we know our child and understand their uniqueness.  Recognizing their strengths and weaknesses, meeting them where they are at and helping them find the road to maturity.  Remember, a daydreaming child may be frustrating but you may also find they are very creative.

The importance of sorry

In by-gone era’s, traditional wisdom taught parents not to show weakness in front of their children.  When a parental mistake would occur, parents were encouraged to hide it and continue as if nothing had happened.  Children have always seen through this, you only have to think back to your own childhood to know this is true.  No matter how hard we try as parents, we are always going to make mistakes, be grumpy, mis-read situations or just plain forget things.  By admitting our fault and talking these things through with our children we give them an example of how to live accountably in their own life.  Tradition would fear that this may cause erosion to the authority of parenting but we have found that a simple and honest expression of sorry, when we are wrong, causes respect and honor to grow in our relationship with our children.

For us, the church is a great place for support in the fun but demanding job of raising a family.  It’s helpful to be able to share with others and look at what the bible has to say about raising children.  Much wisdom can be found if you are willing to seek.

Wes and Becky Hall

I remember the first day I walked into church with our firstborn, Levi. It was our first outing as a new family. Needless to say I was excited and proud, of our new born son but also of our new British Racing Green Emmaljunga Pram. Today they have ‘Jeep’ and ‘Peg Perago’ but in my day it was The Emmaljunga! I still cringe at the mind numbing hours looking at basinets, change tables, high chairs, sterilisers, the list goes on. However one walk along the pram aisle I knew I had more to offer to this season of shopping than just my Visa Card, amazed at the options and the engineering, I was committed to purchasing the perfect vehicle for my coming child.

That Sunday we headed for the ‘parents with children’ section for the first time, my wife checking the new nappy bag while I tested the Emmuljanga’s steering and suspension. Then it happened, my first ‘pram bingle’, I ran into the back of a friend’s Emmuljunga (the previous model). There was no denying my accountability, he was stationary and I hit him from behind. As my friend settled his startled and now crying two year old, he turned to me with a genuine and warm smile and said ‘Learner driver!’ We laughed! But I knew he was right in more ways than one. We may have felt prepared; the nursery was painted, the cot set, we had read books and been to classes but we still had much to learn about being parents. It is often life’s little ‘bingles’ that remind us we all need help.

As I look back I feel it is significant our first outing as a new family was to our church, not for any religious reason but because amongst these families and friends is where we have learnt and continue to learn how to be parents in the house of the Lord. There are many models and avenues of learning but when it comes to being a parent we need to know the way of the Lord. It is a higher way, not because Christians are better than anyone else, but because it is life that literally comes from above, life from our Heavenly Father.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”(Isaiah58:5-6)

Parents will often pray for their children. I have known ones who will rarely offer up a pray for themselves but if strife or sickness touches their child they will cry out to God. It is good to pray and I believe God hears our prayers and honours them, the bible says ‘The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective’ (James 5:16). So please pray, but as a parent I have found merely prayer for my children is not enough. Consider the scripture Isaiah 2:3, parents need to go up to the house of the Lord and then He will teach us his ways. As we actively seek God He will equip us to provide a pathway for our children. This happens when we are in the Lord’s house.

“Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,

To the house of the God of Jacob;

He will teach us of His way,

And we shall walk in His paths.”

For out of Zion shall go forth the law,

And the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.

(Isaiah 2:3)

The word of the Lord is the key, this is God’s teaching and can only be found in His house. Today the house of the Lord is the church, not a building or a particular leader or even denomination, a church is a community of people committed to a relationship with Christ and one another. It is in these relationships that the word of God can transact from text on paper to a living word able to direct us in the pathway of righteousness. Certainly there are seasons of teaching in the church, seminars or conventions were gifted individuals may equip us if we will receive their offering. But just as important is the word we share with each other, from one house to another, one parent to another and one friend to another.

I am thankful for the many friends, young and old, who have taught us by their example and have also had the courage at times to sit us down and ‘tell us straight’ were we may consider change for the better. The bible says ‘God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble’. As we humble ourselves and acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers God is able to help us. By grace he will give to us all we need and more to help another, our children and our neighbours.

I trust you will enjoy the articles in the month’s magazine. These articles contains the living testimony or words of those who have shared them; parents, newlyweds,  youth and seniors sharing their lives in the hope it may encourage and minister to others who may be facing similar issues. This is the spiritual reality of breaking bread from house to house, may they be words to nourish and strengthen you.

Rick Jackson