What do you want to be when you grow up? This is one of the most common questions children are asked. These days more and more emphasis is placed on the child deciding all aspects of their life. Independence is seen as something to be grasped for, the premise being, as long as you don’t hurt anyone, ‘be what you wanna be, do what you wanna do (and everybody sang…yeah)’. But is this the best way to raise a child? Do we let our children blow in the wind of every new influence that comes their way and then cross our fingers and hope that right decisions are made? Is there another way?
Consider the Bible verses Psalm 29:15 says ‘ ..a child left to himself brings his mother to shame’, and,
Ephesians 6:4 encourages parents to ‘ bring your children up in the training and admonishon of the Lord’.
Children are precious in the eyes of the Lord and He has a unique plan and purpose for each one, knowing even how many hairs are on their head. As parents we can teach our children many life skills but it takes wisdom from God to train them toward the person they were created to be. The following are a few things that we have found as we have sought God in our parenting…
Obedience is not a dirty word
In today’s society obedience has become an increasingly unpopular word, but we found that obedience establishes trust in relationship. Training your children to obey without having to reason everything out, calls them to trust that we have the best in mind for them. In this they learn that we care for them.
Every child is unique
When it comes to training, each child is different, some will be naturally self-motivated and focused, while others will need more time and encouragement to help them establish routines and self-discipline in their life. It is important as parents that we know our child and understand their uniqueness. Recognizing their strengths and weaknesses, meeting them where they are at and helping them find the road to maturity. Remember, a daydreaming child may be frustrating but you may also find they are very creative.
The importance of sorry
In by-gone era’s, traditional wisdom taught parents not to show weakness in front of their children. When a parental mistake would occur, parents were encouraged to hide it and continue as if nothing had happened. Children have always seen through this, you only have to think back to your own childhood to know this is true. No matter how hard we try as parents, we are always going to make mistakes, be grumpy, mis-read situations or just plain forget things. By admitting our fault and talking these things through with our children we give them an example of how to live accountably in their own life. Tradition would fear that this may cause erosion to the authority of parenting but we have found that a simple and honest expression of sorry, when we are wrong, causes respect and honor to grow in our relationship with our children.
For us, the church is a great place for support in the fun but demanding job of raising a family. It’s helpful to be able to share with others and look at what the bible has to say about raising children. Much wisdom can be found if you are willing to seek.
Wes and Becky Hall
