As parents we desire the best for our children. But bringing up a child is not just about always having the best for them; the best school, the best teacher, the best of health, the best friends, the best of things that money can buy. Many of these things and more are out of our control and beyond our resources. It can especially concern us when we see the same attitudes in our children that were in us that led to us making bad choices. The urge within us to ‘fix things’ for them is powerful. But we have to be able to let them bear the consequences of their poor choices trusting that lessons can be learnt in every circumstance and not compensating for them because of what happened to us.For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
The heart of the Lord for us and our children is that we would know Him and that His purposes for our lives would come to pass. We don’t have to bring up our children in a way that is subject to time and chance but we can raise them in a path that gives them opportunity to inherit everlasting life with God and His people. The plans and future the Lord has for our children is the best for them. Parents need to be fully convinced of this – if we are half-hearted about the Lord then our children will quickly pick this up.
The Lord’s plans for us go way beyond a vocation and marriage partner. They extend into the new heavens and new earth that will be ushered in at His coming. Christian parents need to be careful that we are not behaving like those ‘who have no hope’ (1 Thesselonians 4:13) and focus solely on outcomes in this world for our children. Things will not always be easy for them. Our call as parents is to join with the Lord in His plans for our children. We can work with the Lord and be given help and insight from Him to bring to our children His plans to prosper them and not to harm them. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from the Lord’s people when you need it. If we will seek the Lord then our desire to see our children grow up to be responsible, mature adults can be connected with the heart of the Lord, who longs to see all reach maturity in His plans and purposes.
In Judges 13 we read about the parents of Samson. The example for us in this story lies largely in the relationship of this couple and their willingness to hear the voice of the Lord and obey it. When the wife heard the voice of the messenger telling her that she would conceive a child and how they were to raise him she did not keep this revelation to herself. Her instant response was to run to her husband and share what she had been told. Manoah, upon hearing his wife’s revelation, neither blithely accepted it, nor carelessly dismissed it. He earnestly sought the Lord that the messenger might come again “that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born”. He had no problem accepting that his wife who was barren was to bear a son. His chief concern was that, together, they learn how to raise that son. May our prayer be, “Lord, please teach us how we are to raise this particular, unique, specially planned and predestined child?”
The child Samson grew to be a man who didn’t always follow the Lord as he should. When Samson wanted to take an ungodly wife his parents tried to discourage him, but as he was by then a young man they allowed him to live by his decisions and reap the consequences. At this point it appeared they took their hands off him – he had left his mother and father and joined to his wife. They are not mentioned again. But Samson as an older man returned to the Lord. We can’t live our children’s life for them; we supply an opportunity for them. Our hope and prayer is that they will come to know the Lord for themselves and not depart from His way as they grow. We need to be diligent in our responses in providing a godly home.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Our testimony is that there are probably many times we should have sought the Lord more for each individual child, but we have committed as one to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, making fellowship at church and to the church program a priority (we’ve grown over the years in fellowship in the home). As practical examples: we committed to music lessons for the children so they will be able to serve in this area: as they got older we encouraged them to offer and let others call them to serve in various areas and tried not to interfere when they were spoken to about those responsibilities. Ours were a quiet bunch; when they were young we made them say hello and use people’s names. We want them to be able to hear from others outside our family who have a caring heart toward them. This is vital; we don’t have all the answers for them. Leanne as a mum has learnt to keep her hands off when she thought they might be too busy or feeling pressured by study & not to protect them from discipline or being challenged.
Seek the Lord and His plans for your children, make it a priority. Have some fellowship with your church leaders about their upbringing. You will need help. The Lord’s help will come to us through those He has given to care for us. If you are a grandparent continue to pray for your children & your grandchildren. The value of this labour cannot be underestimated. We need to remember that our children belong to the Lord; they are entrusted to our care. The Lord has grace for every parent for every individual child that we would be able to bring them up in the Lord’s way.
Peter & Leanne Raison
As parents we desire the best for our children. But bringing up a child is not just about always having the best for them; the best school, the best teacher, the best of health, the best friends, the best of things that money can buy. Many of these things and more are out of our control and beyond our resources. It can especially concern us when we see the same attitudes in our children that were in us that led to us making bad choices. The urge within us to ‘fix things’ for them is powerful. But we have to be able to let them bear the consequences of their poor choices, trusting that lessons can be learnt in every circumstance and not compensating for them because of what happened to us.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
The heart of the Lord for us and our children is that we would know Him and that His purposes for our lives would come to pass. We don’t have to bring up our children in a way that is subject to time and chance, rather we can raise them in a path that gives them opportunity to inherit everlasting life with God and His people. The plans and future the Lord has for our children is the best for them. Parents need to be fully convinced of this – if we are half-hearted about the Lord then our children will quickly pick this up.
We don’t have to bring up our children in a way that is subject to time and chance, rather we can raise them in a path that gives them opportunity to inherit everlasting life with God and His people.
The Lord’s plans for us go way beyond a vocation and marriage partner. They extend into the new heavens and new earth that will be ushered in at His coming. Christian parents need to be careful that we are not behaving like those ‘who have no hope’ (1 Thesselonians 4:13) and focus solely on outcomes in this world for our children. Things will not always be easy for them. Our call as parents is to join with the Lord in His plans for our children. We can work with the Lord and be given help and insight from Him to bring to our children His plans to prosper them and not to harm them. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from the Lord’s people when you need it. If we will seek the Lord then our desire to see our children grow up to be responsible, mature adults can be connected with the heart of the Lord, who longs to see all reach maturity in His plans and purposes.
In Judges 13 we read about the parents of Samson. The example for us in this story lies largely in the relationship of this couple and their willingness to hear the voice of the Lord and obey it. When the wife heard the voice of the messenger telling her that she would conceive a child and how they were to raise him she did not keep this revelation to herself. Her instant response was to run to her husband and share what she had been told. Manoah, upon hearing his wife’s revelation, neither blithely accepted it, nor carelessly dismissed it. He earnestly sought the Lord that the messenger might come again “that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born”. He had no problem accepting that his wife who was barren was to bear a son. His chief concern was that, together, they learn how to raise that son. May our prayer be, “Lord, please teach us how we are to raise this particular, unique, specially planned and predestined child?”
The child Samson grew to be a man who didn’t always follow the Lord as he should. When Samson wanted to take an ungodly wife his parents tried to discourage him, but as he was by then a young man they allowed him to live by his decisions and reap the consequences. At this point it appeared they took their hands off him – he had left his mother and father and joined to his wife. They are not mentioned again. But Samson as an older man returned to the Lord. We can’t live our children’s life for them; we supply an opportunity for them. Our hope and prayer is that they will come to know the Lord for themselves and not depart from His way as they grow. We need to be diligent in our responses in providing a godly home.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Our testimony is that there are probably many times we should have sought the Lord more for each individual child, but we have committed as one to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, making fellowship at church and to the church program a priority (we’ve grown over the years in fellowship in the home). As practical examples: we committed to music lessons for the children so they will be able to serve in this area: as they got older we encouraged them to offer and let others call them to serve in various areas and tried not to interfere when they were spoken to about those responsibilities. Ours were a quiet bunch; when they were young we made them say hello and use people’s names. We want them to be able to hear from others outside our family who have a caring heart toward them. This is vital; we don’t have all the answers for them. Leanne as a mum has learnt to keep her hands off when she thought they might be too busy or feeling pressured by study & not to protect them from discipline or being challenged.
Seek the Lord and His plans for your children, make it a priority. Have some fellowship with your church leaders about their upbringing. You will need help. The Lord’s help will come to us through those He has given to care for us. If you are a grandparent continue to pray for your children & your grandchildren. The value of this labour cannot be underestimated. We need to remember that our children belong to the Lord; they are entrusted to our care. The Lord has grace for every parent for every individual child that we would be able to bring them up in the Lord’s way.
