On August 13th, the world celebrated ‘National Marriage Day’ a day to honour the institution that bonds man and woman in holy matrimony. Marriage, regardless of your religion is a tradition that has endured throughout the ages.
As a Christian woman and recently married I certainly don’t proclaim to know a great deal at all, but I can comment on my recent journey toward a decision to marry. It became clear that there is a difference between the romance focussed marriage I had hoped for as a young girl, AND marriage as God intends it. Like most young girls I held an ideal about marriage where my primary desire was ‘to live happily ever after’; flowers, gifts, the white picket fence and of course my groom, the doting husband from the day I donned the dress until death parted us. But somewhere along life’s journey, REALITY caught up with me.
I’m certainly not saying that there isn’t room for romance in God’s plans, romance is a wonderful thing but I see there is much more to marriage than the warm fuzzy feelings. When romance is the sole driving force and the only thing holding a relationship together, then there remains very little to grasp onto when the tough times come (and they will come!!!). In truth romance is an attempt to please another which is fine as an expression of love, but sad if to gain acceptance or another’s approval. It is not the love God intended.
The Bible tells us God is love. His love is a world away from the human love we know. God has made a decision to love us. He doesn’t love us because of feelings or because doing so makes Him feel good or fills a void in Him. God offers his love to us freely and unconditionally. We read in Roman’s 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. He offered Himself to the point of death for us. Without Gods love, it’s natural for us to love with feelings and emotions that are fickle and that change from one moment to the next. But, His love toward us never changes.
When we’re looking to meet someone we tend to look for the things we have in common. Are we compatible? We may try to conform ourselves to be more like what we think the other desires, or try and conform the other to become more like what we’d like. Does this sound like a familiar scenario? This falls short of God’s promise for each one of us. He has named us and given us life. We have all been created uniquely. Why would we give this away? Why would we offer anything less to one we love? That said, wouldn’t it make sense that each one of us bring all of who we are to a marriage.
In Matthew 19:1-7 God promises us “that what HE joins, no man will separate” and in an age where the figures of divorce are depressingly high, it’s comforting to know that God’s intention for how we are to marry and love can be known. As compatible as a potential partner may seem (romantically or otherwise), there is a far greater hope that God has for us and in God we can trust, because through His workmanship, He has the ability to join a man and woman as ONE. A stronghold, where two unique individuals become ONE. A stronghold that no man can separate.
